England dish out a real spanking
Last updated at 13:17, Tuesday, 18 May 2010
ENGLAND are the world champions – it’s not very often you get to say that and doubtless those words will uttered countless times over the next two years while it still holds true.
The victory by our cricketers in the ICC Twenty20 in the West Indies was as emphatic as it was surprising.
Paul Collingwood’s side won the tournament by playing the best cricket out of any of the sides involved and put the exclamation mark on their triumph by bloodying the noses of the Australians ahead of this winter’s Ashes series Down Under.
After 35 years of trying, with 18 global cricket tournaments spread over that time, England lifted the trophy in Barbados amid scenes everyone hopes will be recreated in two months time in South Africa.
There seems little chance of that happening given England’s footballers are about as far from the cohesive, well-bonded unit Collingwood and coach Andy Flower have shaped with the cricketers as you can get.
You can’t imagine Collingwood being splashed across the front of the News of the World for having an affair with Ryan Sidebottom’s wife can you? Nor Flower deciding to start up a website to rate his own player after every match they play in and tell the world rather than the men themselves.
Still, that is to look ahead to darker times, when at present all is bright in the England sporting garden. Certainly Jonathan Agnew on Five Live was a happy man as he rubbed the victory in on Ian Chappell, an Australian who has had more than his fair share of opportunities to gloat in years gone by.
Five Live was my medium of choice for listening to the final as I was headed back from that most un-Caribbean of places, Halifax.
Fortunately, Aggers and the boys provided me with more insight in the first few seconds than the likes of Nasser Hussain would have given me the entire afternoon on Sky, and some quality comments that should come with a health warning when you’re doing 70 along the M62.
Ian Bishop – a man mocked throughout the afternoon for a spell with Derbyshire for no reason other than Aggers holds within him a long-sustained ‘loathing’ from his Leicestershire days – is not a man who should use the word spank quite so liberally.
The former West Indian pace bowler carries with him a deep burr that plays nicely with his occasional Caribbean lilt. Therefore, when talking about an Australian bowler and saying he ‘deserved a good spanking’, the images conjured up are little to do with cricket and loose deliveries.
Things were not helped when in the post-match celebration, Aggers describer England analyst Gemma Broad – sister of bowler Stuart – as being tall, blonde and jumping up and down surrounded by men.
By this point, I was no longer sure if I was still listening to the cricket, or if another more adult programme was being broadcast on the same frequency.
One last note on the Twenty20. Beforehand, I commented on how this was just the latest in a never-ending run of global tournaments being shoved down our throats.
Now, however, we’ve won it, so obviously it’s important.
Don’t buy that logic? Just ask Alex Ferguson what he thinks of the Carling Cup this year!
First published at 13:15, Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Published by http://www.nwemail.co.uk
Have your say
What complete and utter rubbish this is. Just when I thought cricket couldn't get much more boring, he finds a way to make it even more dull.
Make your comment
More Kirkby news
- South Cumbria girl gets first in line for thrills on dream holiday of a lifetime
- South Cumbria windfarm’s towering turbines are too intrusive says campaign group (6 comments)
- Two vehicle car crash on Cumbria A595
- South Cumbria A595 campaign takes new twist (1 comment)
- Lollipop lady to retire after 17 years of keeping Cumbria children safe
- Kirkby Gala
- Kirbky pupils set out risks of ‘dangerous’ road
- Cumbria youngsters get the ball rolling to learn sporting skills
- Public will get chance to have say on Kirkby moor windfarm revamp
- Social media crimes in Cumbria on the increase
- A595 wagon hell looms for Furness residents (6 comments)
- Much-loved Cumbria councillor was a “true gent”
- A595 in Cumbria to be closed for roadworks (1 comment)
- ‘Worst floods I’ve seen in 12 years’ - Kirkby resident
- Heavy rain set to hit Cumbria today
- Kirkby community nets £17,700 to build multi-use sports area
- Cumbria train line reopens - short delays (1 comment)
- More than 350 homes left without power near Ulverston
- Cumbria residents say they will fight to get nightmare section of A595 upgraded (3 comments)
- Cumbria village broadband nightmare is finally over for residents
- Inspirational Ulverston girl Alice Pyne’s gran shows how to raise money in style
- Cumbria A595 road safety summit called (1 comment)
- MP welcomes fuel price cut in South Cumbria village (2 comments)
- Safety fears prompt calls for A595 Cumbria works (4 comments)
- Kirkby residents hail Cumbria MP’s broadband crusade (2 comments)